Now lately some of my posts have been kinda depressed/morbid. I just have to tell you that most of them will be like that, partly because I like morbidness/darkness sometimes, and partly because I think I may be mildly depressed(undiagnosed).

I don't really have anything to say in this post, except to say that if you're looking to be put in a good mood, don't read some of my posts.

Things have been rather normal of late, and I have to say I kind of like it. I have homework and projects, yes, but I feel on top of it and relaxed, so things are good.

I think if I actually had something to say today, this would be a rare occasion that I don't sound depressed. I have actually been happy these last few days!!

That's really all I have to say right now, so until next time!

Sincerely, Emily M.

So...

So...nothing's really happened lately so I'm just gonna post a couple of my new poems.

The Killer Will Be Dead
I gotta know
Can I let you go
Or will these feelings stay?
The evil is dead
But still it's here
Lurking without a name.
I cannot rest
Until I know
That the killer is known.
When the time comes
All is revealed
And the kiler will be dead.

Fantasy
Locked in this fantasy
Trapped in a dream
Always running, just running
But never getting anywhere.
It's time to wake up
Time to snap out of it.
These wishes won't come true
And I will end up being crushed
By these silly little fantasies.

Hope you enjoyed these!!

Wow...

So I was on my way home from orchestra practice yesterday, and we were almost home, when this cop passes us. You're thinking, "What's so great about that?" Well I'll tell you. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal, except this cop happened to be speeding, tailgating, and also failed to use a turn signal at least twice in a span of 1 minute. Ridiculous right? What is the world coming to?

Life

I haven't really posted anything lately because there hasn't been anything to say. Now there is a little bit. Life at school has been boring and repetitive, but yet I still enjoy it. But every happiness has to end eventually. Everyone has been talking about the two girls that died in a car crash. I used to go to church with them. Isn't it strange how you can talk to a person one day and the next they're dead?

I know that sounds blunt but it's just the truth. I talked to both of them not 3 weeks before the accident and now I will never talk to them again.

I was watching Youtube, and one of the video suggestions on the side of the screen was a trailer for a movie called "The Greatest." It's about a girl who saw and passed by this boy at school everyday, and he saw her too. On thee last day of school he finally talked to her. They fell in love and then he died. It's about her struggle afterward because she's pregnant and about the boy's parents trying to cope. It was very touching and I felt the need to share it.

Watching that trailer inspired me to write a poem. I'm writing this off the top of my head, so please forgive the fact that it will be kind of rough.

     Spilled Milk
In these changing days, we never know
What the next will give us
All we know is that we must live
Like we won't live to see tomorrow.

Milk doesn't cry when it spills
and the dead do not weep when they pass
So why should we whine and scream
When life hands us an unhappy surprise?

It is not in our hands
So why complain
When things don't go according to plan
Since this is the case, it's safe to assume
That we should never make plans again.

A Secret

Here's another poem I wrote, please leave a comment if you like it!

I am wrapped in happiness, but also in confusion
Don't know what to feel, or just what to say
I've been looking at myself on the outside and in my head for the answers
When the answers were always there in my heart
Locked away, closed up tight
I have found the key, but I've decided to wait,
To unlock the door when I'm absolutely sure.


When the time comes, I will set it free
For now it waits impatiently 
It watches for the moment when I am ready
On that day it will burst forth
I do not care what others may think when it escapes
I can only hope and pray that they will understand.

This is just the latest one of my creations. I will post more when I write a new one.

My Eyes

I have been feeling very conflicted. I have been feeling these odd things that I am too afraid to speak of, but they confuse and surprise me.

Earlier today I came home and took a good long look in the mirror. Now, when some look in a mirror, all they see is their face. When I look in the mirror however, I notice my eyes. People have often told me that I have pretty eyes, and I can kind of see what they are talking about, but when I looked at them today I couldn't see it.

In my eyes, I saw no beauty.

In my eyes, all the sadness of the world.

They stared right back at me, a perfect reflection, seeming to ask the question, "Who are you, really?"

I had no answer, so I just continued to stare.